WOW who knew this day would come? I thought it
was a great possibility that I would have thrown in the
towel by now. While not perfect I held out and I did not
give up. All glory goes to Him who saves and changes
lives. God is Moving and Working and my fast has, I
believe, played a huge role in not just opening my heart
but my husband's as well. God used my fast to speak
to my husband in a time when he needs God's heart more
than ever.
Today is not it. I have started to read a book by a
wonderful pastor named Steven Furtick called
Sun Stand Still. Want to have a life changing
experience go on line to his church, Elevation church
and listen to one of his sermons. Does not matter
which one. He has the Lord's power coursing
through his body. He preaches the word and it is
not always warm and fuzzy but it is what we need
to hear. Sun Stand Still will leave you feeling like
your mind has been blown. And I have only read 4
chapters.
All this to say I realized most of all during this fast
I need to be in The Word and in my Lord deeply
everyday and not just when I am fasting. He wants me
be to be restless until I rest in Him. He wants to move
everyday with me and He has a plan that I want to
be a part of. I don't want to just go with the flow sleeping
through life. I want to live life and all for His glory and
His plan.
Please Dear Father,
Help me to keep this sense of vision and passion
even though my fast is over. Help me to be constantly
searching for you and your will. Help me to rest only
in you.
Amen
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Daniel Fast: Day 20
Day 20 and one more to go. I will not lie this is
probably been one of my most difficult days on this
fast. Tonight will be my 3rd night of work and
knowing I will not go to bed probably until tomorrow
night at about 9:00 feels very daunting on my soul.
Never during this fast have I wondered how I am
going to make it to the finish line as I do today.
I cannot see how I will make it through tomorrow
without caffeine and how I will make it through the
day tomorrow without crying all day. I tend to
cry when I am sleep deprived and good news it has
already started.
But this low and completely depleted state I know is
right where God wants me. Despite the fact that it
completely sucks, I know He has moved and still has
more for me to hear in this next day and a half. I
probably could not hear if I were rested and normal.
God often brings us to a place of complete desperation
right before He speaks.
probably been one of my most difficult days on this
fast. Tonight will be my 3rd night of work and
knowing I will not go to bed probably until tomorrow
night at about 9:00 feels very daunting on my soul.
Never during this fast have I wondered how I am
going to make it to the finish line as I do today.
I cannot see how I will make it through tomorrow
without caffeine and how I will make it through the
day tomorrow without crying all day. I tend to
cry when I am sleep deprived and good news it has
already started.
But this low and completely depleted state I know is
right where God wants me. Despite the fact that it
completely sucks, I know He has moved and still has
more for me to hear in this next day and a half. I
probably could not hear if I were rested and normal.
God often brings us to a place of complete desperation
right before He speaks.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Daniel Fast: Day 17
It happened to me the last time I fasted.
It has now happened again. That Ahhhhh moment
when I realize one of the big reasons why
God wanted me to fast. It is unbelievably
amazing to see how God has worked over the
last 4 weeks to get me to here so that His
plan would work out.
One year ago our pastor left and 9 months
ago our church formed a committee to
search for a new pastor. My husband was
chosen to be on the committee. He is the
youngest in the group and I must say I
am so proud of him for taking this on. I
will not lie it has often been a real
sacrifice for our family. But I know
that he is supposed to be playing a part
in this. Well we are down to the final 2.
They are still trying to decided.
Aaron has gone back and forth and then
yesterday he heard a clear word from the
Lord. He is having a renewal in his heart.
A new vision about who we are to be about in
the Lord. It is so awesome to see God
work in his life and to see his vibrance.
I know that my fasting was all part of
the plan to get us to here. Today I feel
a sense of renewal in my fasting. I feel
like I can make it until Sunday because
this fast is not just about me.
This morning I got up to go run and
I got out on the path and I saw a lady with
a BIG dog. For those of you who don't know,
I am deathly afraid of dogs. I have had
several incidences with them throughout my
life and it has never been good. So I was
immediately feeling the fear. Turns out the
dog was not the lady's and she was trying
to get it to go away. So I decided to get
myself home and try to run this evening.
Any who my honey and I got to spend some
time together and the kids actually slept
in. He said, "We never get to do this, it's
nice." It made me realize I was not meant
to work the night shift forever. Nights
work well for us, but I know God has a plan
for me that involves sleeping and working
normal people hours. How I am going to get
to that I am not sure yet, but God knows. I
feel encouraged today that God is working
in all areas of our lives. We just need to
be awake and ready to be with Him and move
when He says move.
It has now happened again. That Ahhhhh moment
when I realize one of the big reasons why
God wanted me to fast. It is unbelievably
amazing to see how God has worked over the
last 4 weeks to get me to here so that His
plan would work out.
One year ago our pastor left and 9 months
ago our church formed a committee to
search for a new pastor. My husband was
chosen to be on the committee. He is the
youngest in the group and I must say I
am so proud of him for taking this on. I
will not lie it has often been a real
sacrifice for our family. But I know
that he is supposed to be playing a part
in this. Well we are down to the final 2.
They are still trying to decided.
Aaron has gone back and forth and then
yesterday he heard a clear word from the
Lord. He is having a renewal in his heart.
A new vision about who we are to be about in
the Lord. It is so awesome to see God
work in his life and to see his vibrance.
I know that my fasting was all part of
the plan to get us to here. Today I feel
a sense of renewal in my fasting. I feel
like I can make it until Sunday because
this fast is not just about me.
This morning I got up to go run and
I got out on the path and I saw a lady with
a BIG dog. For those of you who don't know,
I am deathly afraid of dogs. I have had
several incidences with them throughout my
life and it has never been good. So I was
immediately feeling the fear. Turns out the
dog was not the lady's and she was trying
to get it to go away. So I decided to get
myself home and try to run this evening.
Any who my honey and I got to spend some
time together and the kids actually slept
in. He said, "We never get to do this, it's
nice." It made me realize I was not meant
to work the night shift forever. Nights
work well for us, but I know God has a plan
for me that involves sleeping and working
normal people hours. How I am going to get
to that I am not sure yet, but God knows. I
feel encouraged today that God is working
in all areas of our lives. We just need to
be awake and ready to be with Him and move
when He says move.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Daniel Fast: Day 16
I realized it has been almost a week since I posted about
how my fast is going. Today is day 16 and I am still
in this!! Yesterday as we know was the 4th of July.
AND our family had a cook out. Steak, Hamburgers,
chips, and Wonderful homemade vanilla ice cream.
None of which I had :( I have been dying for a cheese
burger and fries and so that was a tough one. And the
ice cream looked amazing. All of the family said it
was just horrible as they got their second helping.
I have read the food cravings and hunger pangs should
be gone by now. I must admit that mine are actually
getting worse. I believe it is because my thyroid is
starting to make the adjustments from my weight loss
and I am starting to go into hyperthyroid. I will be having
a blood test next monday when I am all done to see where
things are. My Doctor and I discussed this and I knew
that this would be a possibility. So this is not a
surprise.
I thought not focusing on my website for a few weeks
would make me go nuts. And while I am thinking of
new ideas and such, it has been really nice to take a break.
I have found my thoughts going to a different place and
it has opened my eyes to what God has really been
wanting me to see. Is it what I want to hear? Some yes
and some no. My husband and I have had the wonderful
opportunity to play a role in starting a mission church in
the last 18 months. Several of us are feeling a tug lately
a refocus if you will on our mission. On God's vision for
our church. My thoughts, desires and prayers have been
much about that and what is our next step and what part
do I play in it. I am excited by this. So what is the part
I have not been happy about? Well I thought I would be
hearing a real clear word about my website. I still have
5 1/2 days left. So I know God is not through with what
He needs to say to me yet. I also know one thing He has
made clear is that I need to be patient and stay the course.
What is the course? Delving into Him and His word. That
should be our primary focus. Getting to know Him so deeply that
everything else does not matter.
how my fast is going. Today is day 16 and I am still
in this!! Yesterday as we know was the 4th of July.
AND our family had a cook out. Steak, Hamburgers,
chips, and Wonderful homemade vanilla ice cream.
None of which I had :( I have been dying for a cheese
burger and fries and so that was a tough one. And the
ice cream looked amazing. All of the family said it
was just horrible as they got their second helping.
I have read the food cravings and hunger pangs should
be gone by now. I must admit that mine are actually
getting worse. I believe it is because my thyroid is
starting to make the adjustments from my weight loss
and I am starting to go into hyperthyroid. I will be having
a blood test next monday when I am all done to see where
things are. My Doctor and I discussed this and I knew
that this would be a possibility. So this is not a
surprise.
I thought not focusing on my website for a few weeks
would make me go nuts. And while I am thinking of
new ideas and such, it has been really nice to take a break.
I have found my thoughts going to a different place and
it has opened my eyes to what God has really been
wanting me to see. Is it what I want to hear? Some yes
and some no. My husband and I have had the wonderful
opportunity to play a role in starting a mission church in
the last 18 months. Several of us are feeling a tug lately
a refocus if you will on our mission. On God's vision for
our church. My thoughts, desires and prayers have been
much about that and what is our next step and what part
do I play in it. I am excited by this. So what is the part
I have not been happy about? Well I thought I would be
hearing a real clear word about my website. I still have
5 1/2 days left. So I know God is not through with what
He needs to say to me yet. I also know one thing He has
made clear is that I need to be patient and stay the course.
What is the course? Delving into Him and His word. That
should be our primary focus. Getting to know Him so deeply that
everything else does not matter.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Daniel Fast: Day 9
Day 9!! I am almost half way through. I am not sure
how it is for the rest of you but waking up with a cold
is one of my most Unfavorite things ever. Today was
one of the most difficult days. Tomorrow marks one week
that I have been sick and I was hoping to be dramatically
improved by now. I can function it is just getting
annoying.
BUT my study is becoming increasingly intense and at
every turn the Lord is speaking to me. We know that God
speaks to His believers through His word, through other
believers and through the Holy Spirit. This has been the
case in multiple ways over the last 24 hours. Yesterday
I was knitting and I felt a strong tug to read the first
chapter of Proverbs. Many resources I have been using
during this fast suggest Proverbs as a good daily reading
because it is 31 chapters and you can read it in a month.
I have read Proverbs and love it. It gives such in depth
wisdom and knowledge and really makes you think about
your heart and your actions. So I read chapter one.
Today I turned to one of the devotionals I have chosen
to read during my fast and what was the suggested
reading for today? Proverbs chapter 2!!!!! And of course
everything I read from the 2 completely unrelated
devotionals were related and what I have specifically
started this fast to find out.
Also my friend Jacque gave me a book by Francine Rivers
called A Lineage of Grace. It is actually 5 different books
she has written that was put into one. They are 5 different
stories about women in the Bible who lead amazing lives
of faith for God and each was in the lineage of Christ
the last story being about Mary. Yesterday I finished
the first book and it was about Tamar. I tell you our
teenage girls could learn a thing or two from this girl.
Women in Biblical times were treated as the weak ones.
Well they were not weak. Actually we all could learn a
thing or two from them. They were strong and lead
very hard lives and if they were not married and if they
did not produce sons, they ended up being beggars and
prostitutes.
Tamar really inspired me. She was patient and she waited,
and waited and waited and Then she waited some more
for her right to be fulfilled. Until finally she saw her
opportunity to move and doing such meant that she
could be killed and she almost was. But she had faith in
the God of the Hebrews and He used this young teenage
girl to bring a grown man back to Him. WOW!! I highly
recommend you read her story in the Old Testament.
She inspired me that if she can wait for her rights
to be fulfilled for almost a decade, I can do this
for 21 days. Her life was beyond hard and yet she
remained faithful.
AND Jacque's husband Sean sent us a blog he had read
from a pastor in North Carolina. Completely related to
several areas of my life that I have been looking for
answers. The summation of the blog: we often have to
take small steps to get to our Big goal. We cannot forget
that the small victories are just as important and give us
just as much reason to celebrate and praise God as
meeting the Big goal. We are a society of getting what we
want immediately, Me included. But Look at Noah! Oh
my how long did he build the ark? 100 Years!!!!! God
gives us a vision to do something for Him and we get
antsy when it does not happen right away! It is so hard
for me to keep my eyes fixed on the prize. Tamar, Noah
so much of the Old Testament shows us when God calls
us to something it is probably going to be hard and take
time but He who began a good work in us, He will be
faithful to complete it!
how it is for the rest of you but waking up with a cold
is one of my most Unfavorite things ever. Today was
one of the most difficult days. Tomorrow marks one week
that I have been sick and I was hoping to be dramatically
improved by now. I can function it is just getting
annoying.
BUT my study is becoming increasingly intense and at
every turn the Lord is speaking to me. We know that God
speaks to His believers through His word, through other
believers and through the Holy Spirit. This has been the
case in multiple ways over the last 24 hours. Yesterday
I was knitting and I felt a strong tug to read the first
chapter of Proverbs. Many resources I have been using
during this fast suggest Proverbs as a good daily reading
because it is 31 chapters and you can read it in a month.
I have read Proverbs and love it. It gives such in depth
wisdom and knowledge and really makes you think about
your heart and your actions. So I read chapter one.
Today I turned to one of the devotionals I have chosen
to read during my fast and what was the suggested
reading for today? Proverbs chapter 2!!!!! And of course
everything I read from the 2 completely unrelated
devotionals were related and what I have specifically
started this fast to find out.
Also my friend Jacque gave me a book by Francine Rivers
called A Lineage of Grace. It is actually 5 different books
she has written that was put into one. They are 5 different
stories about women in the Bible who lead amazing lives
of faith for God and each was in the lineage of Christ
the last story being about Mary. Yesterday I finished
the first book and it was about Tamar. I tell you our
teenage girls could learn a thing or two from this girl.
Women in Biblical times were treated as the weak ones.
Well they were not weak. Actually we all could learn a
thing or two from them. They were strong and lead
very hard lives and if they were not married and if they
did not produce sons, they ended up being beggars and
prostitutes.
Tamar really inspired me. She was patient and she waited,
and waited and waited and Then she waited some more
for her right to be fulfilled. Until finally she saw her
opportunity to move and doing such meant that she
could be killed and she almost was. But she had faith in
the God of the Hebrews and He used this young teenage
girl to bring a grown man back to Him. WOW!! I highly
recommend you read her story in the Old Testament.
She inspired me that if she can wait for her rights
to be fulfilled for almost a decade, I can do this
for 21 days. Her life was beyond hard and yet she
remained faithful.
AND Jacque's husband Sean sent us a blog he had read
from a pastor in North Carolina. Completely related to
several areas of my life that I have been looking for
answers. The summation of the blog: we often have to
take small steps to get to our Big goal. We cannot forget
that the small victories are just as important and give us
just as much reason to celebrate and praise God as
meeting the Big goal. We are a society of getting what we
want immediately, Me included. But Look at Noah! Oh
my how long did he build the ark? 100 Years!!!!! God
gives us a vision to do something for Him and we get
antsy when it does not happen right away! It is so hard
for me to keep my eyes fixed on the prize. Tamar, Noah
so much of the Old Testament shows us when God calls
us to something it is probably going to be hard and take
time but He who began a good work in us, He will be
faithful to complete it!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Daniel Fast: Day 8
Yes I am still hanging in there with my Daniel Fast!
Days 4-7 left me a bit discouraged. The end of day 3 it
was clear that I was coming down with a cold. Then I
had to work the next 2 nights. It never fails I always
get sick when I am about to work. Never when I am
off for 5 days. Then day 6 I got about 2 hours of sleep
before I had to get up and go to a funeral and then
immediately to a birthday party. I will not lie I did not
follow the fast completely on Saturday because of the
birthday party and today is our anniversary but we
celebrated on saturday night. It is extremely difficult
to be sick and do this. Every fiber of my being wants a
cup of hot tea to sooth my throat and chest and NO warm
water with lemon will not cut it. Every fiber of my
being wants a bowl of chicken noodle soup. NO
vegetable soup is not going to cut it.
I have come to realize that next time I fast I will fast
from one major food group instead of 3-4. My husband
made an excellent point last night. He said just fasting from
caffeine alone would make a huge impact. I fear that I am
so focused on the food that I cannot have and the physical
woes that I am feeling that I am not getting the full effect
of the spiritual aspect. I am hanging in there for now. I
really want to see this out. I keep thinking that once I am
no longer sick I can really focus on hearing the Lord. Which
please do not get me wrong, the Lord has spoken and I have
been shown some things that I have issues with. Not things that
are really a surprise to me. Once again my wonderful husband
made an excellent observation, would these be things I would
have seen if I would have just spent the time studying more
like I have in the last 8 days. Last time I fasted it was intense
and the Lord really hit me right between the eyes with some
huge things I was not facing and not really aware were an issue.
So I have been brought back to my original theme that I know
the Lord placed in my heart to be my main focus and that was
Being Still. Well being sick would most definitely make me have
to rest and be still. I have not been able to do my running program.
I have not been able to do my Wii Fit. I have not been able to
do much but the everyday things to keep our family and life
going. I will give this more time. I will continue to pray for
healing and rest in this. I know this is what He wants me to do.
Time to Be Still.
Days 4-7 left me a bit discouraged. The end of day 3 it
was clear that I was coming down with a cold. Then I
had to work the next 2 nights. It never fails I always
get sick when I am about to work. Never when I am
off for 5 days. Then day 6 I got about 2 hours of sleep
before I had to get up and go to a funeral and then
immediately to a birthday party. I will not lie I did not
follow the fast completely on Saturday because of the
birthday party and today is our anniversary but we
celebrated on saturday night. It is extremely difficult
to be sick and do this. Every fiber of my being wants a
cup of hot tea to sooth my throat and chest and NO warm
water with lemon will not cut it. Every fiber of my
being wants a bowl of chicken noodle soup. NO
vegetable soup is not going to cut it.
I have come to realize that next time I fast I will fast
from one major food group instead of 3-4. My husband
made an excellent point last night. He said just fasting from
caffeine alone would make a huge impact. I fear that I am
so focused on the food that I cannot have and the physical
woes that I am feeling that I am not getting the full effect
of the spiritual aspect. I am hanging in there for now. I
really want to see this out. I keep thinking that once I am
no longer sick I can really focus on hearing the Lord. Which
please do not get me wrong, the Lord has spoken and I have
been shown some things that I have issues with. Not things that
are really a surprise to me. Once again my wonderful husband
made an excellent observation, would these be things I would
have seen if I would have just spent the time studying more
like I have in the last 8 days. Last time I fasted it was intense
and the Lord really hit me right between the eyes with some
huge things I was not facing and not really aware were an issue.
So I have been brought back to my original theme that I know
the Lord placed in my heart to be my main focus and that was
Being Still. Well being sick would most definitely make me have
to rest and be still. I have not been able to do my running program.
I have not been able to do my Wii Fit. I have not been able to
do much but the everyday things to keep our family and life
going. I will give this more time. I will continue to pray for
healing and rest in this. I know this is what He wants me to do.
Time to Be Still.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Daniel Fast: Day 3
Ok Day 3!!! I won't lie! Today has been the worst yet!!
We took my dad to Cracker Barrel for his Birthday. (Our
son calls it the Chicken Bucket). And I had a bowl of
pinto beans. Yes beans at the most wonderful mac and
cheese, mashed potato, and biscuit place ever. THEN my
mama ordered a carmel ice cream mug sunday!!!!!!!!!!
All the way home I questioned my Lord about the
ludicrous decision I have made. Why would anyone in
their right mind eat only pinto beans and a glass of
water at the Cracker Barrel??
This is what Satan wants. He wants me to question this
so I will stop. I have a wonderful book by a great lady
named Joyce Meyer called Straight Talk: Overcoming
Emotional Battles With the Power of God's Word. Last
week as I was preparing to start this journey I was
reminded of this book and I pulled it out. Today's
reading was about Satan. The section was entitled
Keep the Devil on the Run. Wonderful scripture she
referred to "Greater is he that is in you, than he that
is in the world." 1 John 4:4. Then she said "He comes
like the lion, but he is not the lion." What empowering
words!!!
Why Fast? Why put myself through this? You don't really
have to do this for 21 days do you? If I had a little
bite of one food I am not supposed to it would be ok
if I messed up a little wouldn't it? Sheesh!! I feel
like Eve in the garden!!
There is absolutely no doubt that I am called to do
this. God has shown Himself to me time and time again
through this journey affirming that this is what I
am to do. I know He is going to tell me some things
that I really need to hear. But I also know that as
long as I am being held up by this food issue, I will
not be able to be still and hear His voice. This is
what I believe fasting is about. We have to be
completely broken so we can finally let Him work.
Well tomorrow is a new day and a new challenge.
Tomorrow night I work. I will be up for about 24
hours with a nap, hopefully, and I will have no
caffeine of any kind. One day at a time! Right?
We took my dad to Cracker Barrel for his Birthday. (Our
son calls it the Chicken Bucket). And I had a bowl of
pinto beans. Yes beans at the most wonderful mac and
cheese, mashed potato, and biscuit place ever. THEN my
mama ordered a carmel ice cream mug sunday!!!!!!!!!!
All the way home I questioned my Lord about the
ludicrous decision I have made. Why would anyone in
their right mind eat only pinto beans and a glass of
water at the Cracker Barrel??
This is what Satan wants. He wants me to question this
so I will stop. I have a wonderful book by a great lady
named Joyce Meyer called Straight Talk: Overcoming
Emotional Battles With the Power of God's Word. Last
week as I was preparing to start this journey I was
reminded of this book and I pulled it out. Today's
reading was about Satan. The section was entitled
Keep the Devil on the Run. Wonderful scripture she
referred to "Greater is he that is in you, than he that
is in the world." 1 John 4:4. Then she said "He comes
like the lion, but he is not the lion." What empowering
words!!!
Why Fast? Why put myself through this? You don't really
have to do this for 21 days do you? If I had a little
bite of one food I am not supposed to it would be ok
if I messed up a little wouldn't it? Sheesh!! I feel
like Eve in the garden!!
There is absolutely no doubt that I am called to do
this. God has shown Himself to me time and time again
through this journey affirming that this is what I
am to do. I know He is going to tell me some things
that I really need to hear. But I also know that as
long as I am being held up by this food issue, I will
not be able to be still and hear His voice. This is
what I believe fasting is about. We have to be
completely broken so we can finally let Him work.
Well tomorrow is a new day and a new challenge.
Tomorrow night I work. I will be up for about 24
hours with a nap, hopefully, and I will have no
caffeine of any kind. One day at a time! Right?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)