I'm not sure, Lord.

"When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even much more will be required."  Luke 12:48

    I think we often think of money when we read this scripture but today when I read it, I thought about my kids.
We all remember back to before we had kids and daydreaming about how awesome it would be to have a new baby and we could hardly wait. Of course we would not trade our children for anything but let's face it, there are days when it is so difficult we are not sure how we will make it through the day. Perhaps we have all felt in the madness of screaming kids, laundry up to our eyeballs and a house that looks like a bomb exploded, "God I'm not sure I am up for this!"
 
 For those who know me, you know my oldest child has severe food, drug and environmental allergies. Most of the time our days are easy and we live just like every other family because now we are adjusted. But there are days when I am not really sure what God was thinking choosing me to be his mom. Being a nurse most would think I would be the obvious choice, but there have been times I have confided to my husband that I am not sure that God made the right choice. Then I laugh because He is God and I am... well... me. I recently went to the New Mexico home school conference and many times I heard, "God knew exactly what he was doing when he put your child with you." I know this to be true but I worry as all moms do, am I gonna totally ruin this kid?!

    The charge in this scripture can be completely overwhelming. When we are given children, we are given the greatest blessings of our lives. And it is very true that the greatest accomplishments are the things we have to work hardest for. We are naive when we hold our newborns in our arms and even when people tell us how hard it will be, we don't listen. And praise GOD, we don't listen because look back and see all the blessings we would have missed!! And if you are like me, you now see a much better view of God's love for you.
   
So how do we face the charge in Luke 12:48 head on and not get overwhelmed in the day to day weight of it all?  1 Peter 5:9-10- "Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sister all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ. So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation."

     First, you are not alone. Moms everywhere are going through, and thinking and feeling all the same things you are. Next, be encouraged that God will restore you and support you and encourage you! I think however this needs to be a little more participatory on your part. If you are sitting at home every day, this is not good. You need to get out. Maybe you need to find a group of moms who encourage and support you and then when the roles are reversed, you support and encourage them. Then you bring new young moms under your wing and help them along too. If you are not a part of a church family, you need to be. We will find in life that some of our closest "family" is not by blood at all and many of these people we meet at church. Church is where you get your batteries recharged and where we hear encouraging words from our Lord. If we are not spending time with the Lord, we are missing the peaceful rest that only He provides. Which leads me to my last point, and as a mother is the hardest, we need to spend time with the Lord daily. Daily we need to sit at His feet in quiet and hear a word from Him. He always supplies what we need for the day!


Prayer:
 Lord,
      I know you gave me my child/children each for a specific reason and I am the best person to be his/her mom. I will admit there are many days I am not sure what that looks like or how in world we are going to get them to what you have called them to. BUT I know you are God and you are Good. I know that you love my child/children so much more than I do and I will daily seek you and your will for their lives. Give me what I need daily to be their mom and to raise them in your love and your knowledge. Help me to show them who you are.

Amen