WOW who knew this day would come? I thought it
was a great possibility that I would have thrown in the
towel by now. While not perfect I held out and I did not
give up. All glory goes to Him who saves and changes
lives. God is Moving and Working and my fast has, I
believe, played a huge role in not just opening my heart
but my husband's as well. God used my fast to speak
to my husband in a time when he needs God's heart more
than ever.
Today is not it. I have started to read a book by a
wonderful pastor named Steven Furtick called
Sun Stand Still. Want to have a life changing
experience go on line to his church, Elevation church
and listen to one of his sermons. Does not matter
which one. He has the Lord's power coursing
through his body. He preaches the word and it is
not always warm and fuzzy but it is what we need
to hear. Sun Stand Still will leave you feeling like
your mind has been blown. And I have only read 4
chapters.
All this to say I realized most of all during this fast
I need to be in The Word and in my Lord deeply
everyday and not just when I am fasting. He wants me
be to be restless until I rest in Him. He wants to move
everyday with me and He has a plan that I want to
be a part of. I don't want to just go with the flow sleeping
through life. I want to live life and all for His glory and
His plan.
Please Dear Father,
Help me to keep this sense of vision and passion
even though my fast is over. Help me to be constantly
searching for you and your will. Help me to rest only
in you.
Amen
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Daniel Fast: Day 20
Day 20 and one more to go. I will not lie this is
probably been one of my most difficult days on this
fast. Tonight will be my 3rd night of work and
knowing I will not go to bed probably until tomorrow
night at about 9:00 feels very daunting on my soul.
Never during this fast have I wondered how I am
going to make it to the finish line as I do today.
I cannot see how I will make it through tomorrow
without caffeine and how I will make it through the
day tomorrow without crying all day. I tend to
cry when I am sleep deprived and good news it has
already started.
But this low and completely depleted state I know is
right where God wants me. Despite the fact that it
completely sucks, I know He has moved and still has
more for me to hear in this next day and a half. I
probably could not hear if I were rested and normal.
God often brings us to a place of complete desperation
right before He speaks.
probably been one of my most difficult days on this
fast. Tonight will be my 3rd night of work and
knowing I will not go to bed probably until tomorrow
night at about 9:00 feels very daunting on my soul.
Never during this fast have I wondered how I am
going to make it to the finish line as I do today.
I cannot see how I will make it through tomorrow
without caffeine and how I will make it through the
day tomorrow without crying all day. I tend to
cry when I am sleep deprived and good news it has
already started.
But this low and completely depleted state I know is
right where God wants me. Despite the fact that it
completely sucks, I know He has moved and still has
more for me to hear in this next day and a half. I
probably could not hear if I were rested and normal.
God often brings us to a place of complete desperation
right before He speaks.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Daniel Fast: Day 17
It happened to me the last time I fasted.
It has now happened again. That Ahhhhh moment
when I realize one of the big reasons why
God wanted me to fast. It is unbelievably
amazing to see how God has worked over the
last 4 weeks to get me to here so that His
plan would work out.
One year ago our pastor left and 9 months
ago our church formed a committee to
search for a new pastor. My husband was
chosen to be on the committee. He is the
youngest in the group and I must say I
am so proud of him for taking this on. I
will not lie it has often been a real
sacrifice for our family. But I know
that he is supposed to be playing a part
in this. Well we are down to the final 2.
They are still trying to decided.
Aaron has gone back and forth and then
yesterday he heard a clear word from the
Lord. He is having a renewal in his heart.
A new vision about who we are to be about in
the Lord. It is so awesome to see God
work in his life and to see his vibrance.
I know that my fasting was all part of
the plan to get us to here. Today I feel
a sense of renewal in my fasting. I feel
like I can make it until Sunday because
this fast is not just about me.
This morning I got up to go run and
I got out on the path and I saw a lady with
a BIG dog. For those of you who don't know,
I am deathly afraid of dogs. I have had
several incidences with them throughout my
life and it has never been good. So I was
immediately feeling the fear. Turns out the
dog was not the lady's and she was trying
to get it to go away. So I decided to get
myself home and try to run this evening.
Any who my honey and I got to spend some
time together and the kids actually slept
in. He said, "We never get to do this, it's
nice." It made me realize I was not meant
to work the night shift forever. Nights
work well for us, but I know God has a plan
for me that involves sleeping and working
normal people hours. How I am going to get
to that I am not sure yet, but God knows. I
feel encouraged today that God is working
in all areas of our lives. We just need to
be awake and ready to be with Him and move
when He says move.
It has now happened again. That Ahhhhh moment
when I realize one of the big reasons why
God wanted me to fast. It is unbelievably
amazing to see how God has worked over the
last 4 weeks to get me to here so that His
plan would work out.
One year ago our pastor left and 9 months
ago our church formed a committee to
search for a new pastor. My husband was
chosen to be on the committee. He is the
youngest in the group and I must say I
am so proud of him for taking this on. I
will not lie it has often been a real
sacrifice for our family. But I know
that he is supposed to be playing a part
in this. Well we are down to the final 2.
They are still trying to decided.
Aaron has gone back and forth and then
yesterday he heard a clear word from the
Lord. He is having a renewal in his heart.
A new vision about who we are to be about in
the Lord. It is so awesome to see God
work in his life and to see his vibrance.
I know that my fasting was all part of
the plan to get us to here. Today I feel
a sense of renewal in my fasting. I feel
like I can make it until Sunday because
this fast is not just about me.
This morning I got up to go run and
I got out on the path and I saw a lady with
a BIG dog. For those of you who don't know,
I am deathly afraid of dogs. I have had
several incidences with them throughout my
life and it has never been good. So I was
immediately feeling the fear. Turns out the
dog was not the lady's and she was trying
to get it to go away. So I decided to get
myself home and try to run this evening.
Any who my honey and I got to spend some
time together and the kids actually slept
in. He said, "We never get to do this, it's
nice." It made me realize I was not meant
to work the night shift forever. Nights
work well for us, but I know God has a plan
for me that involves sleeping and working
normal people hours. How I am going to get
to that I am not sure yet, but God knows. I
feel encouraged today that God is working
in all areas of our lives. We just need to
be awake and ready to be with Him and move
when He says move.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Daniel Fast: Day 16
I realized it has been almost a week since I posted about
how my fast is going. Today is day 16 and I am still
in this!! Yesterday as we know was the 4th of July.
AND our family had a cook out. Steak, Hamburgers,
chips, and Wonderful homemade vanilla ice cream.
None of which I had :( I have been dying for a cheese
burger and fries and so that was a tough one. And the
ice cream looked amazing. All of the family said it
was just horrible as they got their second helping.
I have read the food cravings and hunger pangs should
be gone by now. I must admit that mine are actually
getting worse. I believe it is because my thyroid is
starting to make the adjustments from my weight loss
and I am starting to go into hyperthyroid. I will be having
a blood test next monday when I am all done to see where
things are. My Doctor and I discussed this and I knew
that this would be a possibility. So this is not a
surprise.
I thought not focusing on my website for a few weeks
would make me go nuts. And while I am thinking of
new ideas and such, it has been really nice to take a break.
I have found my thoughts going to a different place and
it has opened my eyes to what God has really been
wanting me to see. Is it what I want to hear? Some yes
and some no. My husband and I have had the wonderful
opportunity to play a role in starting a mission church in
the last 18 months. Several of us are feeling a tug lately
a refocus if you will on our mission. On God's vision for
our church. My thoughts, desires and prayers have been
much about that and what is our next step and what part
do I play in it. I am excited by this. So what is the part
I have not been happy about? Well I thought I would be
hearing a real clear word about my website. I still have
5 1/2 days left. So I know God is not through with what
He needs to say to me yet. I also know one thing He has
made clear is that I need to be patient and stay the course.
What is the course? Delving into Him and His word. That
should be our primary focus. Getting to know Him so deeply that
everything else does not matter.
how my fast is going. Today is day 16 and I am still
in this!! Yesterday as we know was the 4th of July.
AND our family had a cook out. Steak, Hamburgers,
chips, and Wonderful homemade vanilla ice cream.
None of which I had :( I have been dying for a cheese
burger and fries and so that was a tough one. And the
ice cream looked amazing. All of the family said it
was just horrible as they got their second helping.
I have read the food cravings and hunger pangs should
be gone by now. I must admit that mine are actually
getting worse. I believe it is because my thyroid is
starting to make the adjustments from my weight loss
and I am starting to go into hyperthyroid. I will be having
a blood test next monday when I am all done to see where
things are. My Doctor and I discussed this and I knew
that this would be a possibility. So this is not a
surprise.
I thought not focusing on my website for a few weeks
would make me go nuts. And while I am thinking of
new ideas and such, it has been really nice to take a break.
I have found my thoughts going to a different place and
it has opened my eyes to what God has really been
wanting me to see. Is it what I want to hear? Some yes
and some no. My husband and I have had the wonderful
opportunity to play a role in starting a mission church in
the last 18 months. Several of us are feeling a tug lately
a refocus if you will on our mission. On God's vision for
our church. My thoughts, desires and prayers have been
much about that and what is our next step and what part
do I play in it. I am excited by this. So what is the part
I have not been happy about? Well I thought I would be
hearing a real clear word about my website. I still have
5 1/2 days left. So I know God is not through with what
He needs to say to me yet. I also know one thing He has
made clear is that I need to be patient and stay the course.
What is the course? Delving into Him and His word. That
should be our primary focus. Getting to know Him so deeply that
everything else does not matter.
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